I started blogging back in 2007, after moving from Toronto to New York City and after watching the entire six seasons of Sex And The City at least 5 times.
My identity emulated Carrie Bradshaw. The creative writer living in New York City.
There was so much to write about as a young twenty-something living in a big city! I was having big experiences as part of my daily life, like invites to New York Fashion Week events on a random Wednesday night and after work drinks with clients on a rooftop next to Central Park.
It’s not a coincidence that so many creative people live in big cities like New York and London. There’s an energetic signature of these cities that lends itself to you. They sustain you and energize you. They become your muse as well as your creative energy source.
Writing felt easy.
Then I moved to London.
Even when I moved away from writing about fashion and entertainment in my original blog called The Stylester, and started writing about quarter-life crisis and coaching in my second blog called The Lifester, it was easy because I was plugged into the energy circuit of a big city.
The Lifester was born in 2013 when I lived in London. You can even hear the hint of a British accent in the very first videos on my YouTube channel that I started to promote that blog and life coaching business.
Writing in London? Piece of cake. I mean J. K. Rowling & Charles Dickens harnessed the city’s energy for their writing, so it was easy for me too.
My identity was that of a mini Gabby Bernstein. A woman on a mission to help others through the hard lessons she herself went through.
Then I moved to Toronto at the age of 30.
My focus shifted from quarter-life crisis into relationships and the blog became all about relationships, specifically Karmic ones. Again, the largest city in Canada lent me its energy, culture, and startup-high to invigorate my writing at a whole new level.
My identity was that of an entrepreneurial young woman who would do what it takes to be successful in her job, and her side projects and businesses.
It was during this phase that my most popular writing was created. I got super serious about SEO and niched down into the topics that I saw was post popular with my audience that also matched my obsession and healing journey with Karma and relationships.
Then in 2018, I moved to Switzerland to start a family with my husband.
Suddenly I was in a small town with a population of ten thousand vs a city with a population of 3.3 million.
The urban buzz that I relied on for energy was gone.
The confidence I had in myself that I’d make it as an internationally known writer and teacher was gone too.
I mean, how could I picture myself as being known and serving clients internationally when I felt disconnected from the world from my small Swiss town in the suburbs of Zürich?
So, I started to dream smaller.
My identity became that of a mompreneur, networking with other moms running businesses, and staying firmly in my comfort zone.
In 2023, I launched a family a systemic constellation therapy practice from my home and a hyper local women’s networking group to spread the word about it.
My very first clients were friends and neighbours I met on the sidewalk and boldly asked them if they want to work with me to try this new thing I was into. As I said before, it was hyper-local.
When I realized how hard it is to market yourself as a therapist, I saw that I could make a bigger impact in more people’s lives by helping other therapists with their websites and marketing.
My business shifted but my clients were still hyper-local.
They were the women I had met through my networking event or friends of friends.
What surprises me is that I never even caught the moment when I told myself to stop thinking bigger. I never realized that I had cancelled the possibility of having an international business when I moved to a small town and “settled down” to grow a family with my husband.
The thing with your identity though is that when it doesn’t fit you anymore, it starts to feel uncomfortable just being in your own skin.
Kind of like squeezing your feet into shoes that are slightly too small.
This is what it started feeling like for me towards the beginning of 2026.
There was a shift in identity happening but it was slow, like a glacier melting, and it has taken until October for it to land.
The identity I am becoming is that of a personal branding coach who helps high-achievers worldwide to step into their calling as leaders and coaches.
This time however, I can’t just up and move my entire family to a big city just so that my life matches the new identity.
This time, I’m embracing the not so glamorous life of a suburban entrepreneur.
One who learns what she needs to on the internet and does things no one in her proximity would ever dream of doing.
One who runs a business online that has its own metrics to measure that don’t make sense to anyone else she talks to on a daily basis.
One whose work puts her in front of people from the entire world and she’s happy to serve them as her closest clients.
It’s a completely unknown life to me to be honest but the old shoes just don’t fit anymore so this is the new identity that I’m stepping into now.
I’ll be sharing my journey and building in public so if you want to follow along, make sure you are on my mailing list by signing up for the email series below.
What about you? Did you ever feel like you outgrew an identity? Are you in your own shift right now? I’d love to hear your story so please share below. You never know who might be helped just from reading it.
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